2 years ago
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
I hadn't bothered to post for almost a year, so you might wonder, why bother now at 00:20?
To be quite honest I don't know, maybe it's just because I need to share this.
Today, or better yesterday Sunday 14th December 2008, a friend of mine has died in a traffic accident. Well, he was more of an acquaintance rather than a friend. He dated a friend of mine for over 5 years, having broken it off about a year ago. He didn't say much, and even though we met very often, I didn't know him much. He had two loves, his motorbike and his girl.
I don't know what this blog is about; whether it's the shock of learning that a fatal accident is no longer one of the usual news items, or the realisation of the fact that the people you have around you and you cherish most may suddenly disappear out of your life, or the comfort of knowing that there are friends and loved ones on whose shoulder you can cry on at any time of the day or night.
Let's go through it step by step.
I read the news online. There wasn't much info except that a 24yo from B'Zebbuga died in a traffic accident in Ghar Dalam road. And this is was triggered the first bout of anxiety. He immediately came to my mind. (He had already had an accident a few years back, which left him with torn ligaments, several months of pain, and a couple of pins in his leg.) The age and hometown correspond. But this is not enough, there are many guys from that village of the same age who drive a motorcycle. And the second bang came through immediately. A friend of mine contacted me over chat confirming the name of the person who had died. Now we had more details; the name, age, locality, and the colour and brand of the bike. I cried, and yet for some reason I didn't want to believe. And then the same friend who had given me the new details told me that someone had already posted an RIP on his hi5 profile ... and yet I wanted to remain calm, and assume that it might have been someone else ... yes another news item that almost hit home.
And while waiting for confirmation, I wanted to curse bikes, and the state of our roads, but I knew it still wouldn't bring him back to life.
But then the 8 o'clock news came on and it seems that they have shown a picture of the victim. I missed that bit but I did manage to see the rest of the clip. There was something different; the news caster spoke with emotion as shots of parts of the bike strewn on the road were shown on the screen, or as a female (assuming she's a relative) was brought on the scene to identify the victim cried as she spoke to the police. I don't know if this is how it actually happened, or if it's because I knew the guy, but this was not the usual news item about yet another guy who died.
Obviously, throughout all this my mind went to my friend who used to date him (even though they broke it off, they remained in contact, and let's be honest, 5 years is quite a long time) ... does she know about this? shall I contact her? and what if she doesn't know yet?
And then she learnt. According to a common friend of ours who had called her, she was in tears. We decided to meet her at home, which we did. Once I saw her I immediately hugged her, which made me burst into tears, while she remained quite calm. She asked me what happened (she hadn't heard what had happened yet) and sobbingly I told her. She remained sullen, (which made me even more nervous). And while my friend tried to convince her to have something to eat or drink, I clammed up, not knowing what to say or what to do. My mind was racing, and I was hoping that she cried instead of continuing to poke her keychain. And after spending lots of time looking at the bottom of my glass, twirling the Sprite around, as if this would make more adept for such a situation, I told her to go get some rest, and if anything happens we are just a phone call away. Her father nudged her in approval, and then she started crying. As weird as this may seem, I felt relieved. It means that the news was sinking in. We hugged her, kissed her, and quietly left her in the care and comfort of her father and her sisters. We left, still shocked and speechless.
Ugly and depressing as such episodes are, they make you realise the importance of particular persons in one's life - being partners, or friends. But they also rattle me, not sure why ... maybe because I realise that I can suddenly be dead, and that I have missed a lot in life, and there are still many things I still want to do before I'm six feet under. As my dear boyfriend put down in my birthday card just a couple of days ago:
"it's not the years in your life, but the life in your years"
Maybe I should start increasing the life in my years, so that I'd stop worrying about the day I'll be the one lying on that cold metal table.
Rest in Peace Daniel. You have died as you wished - an immediate death on your beloved bike. May God give peace to your family and friends. See you on the other side.
*How do you want to Die: Daqqa u al gol kaxxa minajr ma nkun naf x'gara *
(taken from the victim's hi5 profile)
To be quite honest I don't know, maybe it's just because I need to share this.
Today, or better yesterday Sunday 14th December 2008, a friend of mine has died in a traffic accident. Well, he was more of an acquaintance rather than a friend. He dated a friend of mine for over 5 years, having broken it off about a year ago. He didn't say much, and even though we met very often, I didn't know him much. He had two loves, his motorbike and his girl.
I don't know what this blog is about; whether it's the shock of learning that a fatal accident is no longer one of the usual news items, or the realisation of the fact that the people you have around you and you cherish most may suddenly disappear out of your life, or the comfort of knowing that there are friends and loved ones on whose shoulder you can cry on at any time of the day or night.
Let's go through it step by step.
I read the news online. There wasn't much info except that a 24yo from B'Zebbuga died in a traffic accident in Ghar Dalam road. And this is was triggered the first bout of anxiety. He immediately came to my mind. (He had already had an accident a few years back, which left him with torn ligaments, several months of pain, and a couple of pins in his leg.) The age and hometown correspond. But this is not enough, there are many guys from that village of the same age who drive a motorcycle. And the second bang came through immediately. A friend of mine contacted me over chat confirming the name of the person who had died. Now we had more details; the name, age, locality, and the colour and brand of the bike. I cried, and yet for some reason I didn't want to believe. And then the same friend who had given me the new details told me that someone had already posted an RIP on his hi5 profile ... and yet I wanted to remain calm, and assume that it might have been someone else ... yes another news item that almost hit home.
And while waiting for confirmation, I wanted to curse bikes, and the state of our roads, but I knew it still wouldn't bring him back to life.
But then the 8 o'clock news came on and it seems that they have shown a picture of the victim. I missed that bit but I did manage to see the rest of the clip. There was something different; the news caster spoke with emotion as shots of parts of the bike strewn on the road were shown on the screen, or as a female (assuming she's a relative) was brought on the scene to identify the victim cried as she spoke to the police. I don't know if this is how it actually happened, or if it's because I knew the guy, but this was not the usual news item about yet another guy who died.
Obviously, throughout all this my mind went to my friend who used to date him (even though they broke it off, they remained in contact, and let's be honest, 5 years is quite a long time) ... does she know about this? shall I contact her? and what if she doesn't know yet?
And then she learnt. According to a common friend of ours who had called her, she was in tears. We decided to meet her at home, which we did. Once I saw her I immediately hugged her, which made me burst into tears, while she remained quite calm. She asked me what happened (she hadn't heard what had happened yet) and sobbingly I told her. She remained sullen, (which made me even more nervous). And while my friend tried to convince her to have something to eat or drink, I clammed up, not knowing what to say or what to do. My mind was racing, and I was hoping that she cried instead of continuing to poke her keychain. And after spending lots of time looking at the bottom of my glass, twirling the Sprite around, as if this would make more adept for such a situation, I told her to go get some rest, and if anything happens we are just a phone call away. Her father nudged her in approval, and then she started crying. As weird as this may seem, I felt relieved. It means that the news was sinking in. We hugged her, kissed her, and quietly left her in the care and comfort of her father and her sisters. We left, still shocked and speechless.
Ugly and depressing as such episodes are, they make you realise the importance of particular persons in one's life - being partners, or friends. But they also rattle me, not sure why ... maybe because I realise that I can suddenly be dead, and that I have missed a lot in life, and there are still many things I still want to do before I'm six feet under. As my dear boyfriend put down in my birthday card just a couple of days ago:
"it's not the years in your life, but the life in your years"
Maybe I should start increasing the life in my years, so that I'd stop worrying about the day I'll be the one lying on that cold metal table.
Rest in Peace Daniel. You have died as you wished - an immediate death on your beloved bike. May God give peace to your family and friends. See you on the other side.
*How do you want to Die: Daqqa u al gol kaxxa minajr ma nkun naf x'gara *
(taken from the victim's hi5 profile)
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